Dear Kristina Park ’13
A wise man once said: “Fortune favors the bold.” As you can probably tell from the headline of this column, I’ve really taken these words to heart.
I think I know exactly what you’re thinking right now. And to answer your question, yes, this is actually happening and I’m about to ask you to our Senior Prom in our award-winning high school newspaper.
Ever since I asked you to be my date to the Whiteout Dance this February, I’ve been trying to decide if I should use sushi again for my Prom Proposal [for readers that didn’t see the Instagram, I creatively used a bowl of rice to represent the “WHITE” and then some spicy tuna to spell out “O-U-T”]. It was clever, but good sushi in West Los Angeles is just way too overpriced, so I didn’t want to do that twice. I knew all along I didn’t want to use any of the more traditional means like baked goods, flowers or a poster in the quad, because that’s just way too boring and You Only Get to Ask Someone to Senior Prom Once (#YOGASPO?). Well, unless you get rejected the first time, but I think you’re going to have a hard time declining this offer after you finish reading the whole column.
I really hope this isn’t embarrassing you that much, but I can totally understand at this point if you’d rather gouge my eyes out with a pair of stilettos than go to this dance with me. So before you make your decision on whether or not you want to go with me, I came up with a list of 10 things you should consider before deciding:
1. If you let me take you to Prom, I’ll buy you a really pretty corsage to compliment your dress. Well, my mom will, but she really likes you, so I bet she will get you a good one.
2. If you wanted me to color coordinate my vest/tie combo with your dress, I’d totally be game.
3. If you go with me, I guarantee you can wear the highest pair of heels you own without being taller than me. You’re a relatively tall girl at 5’5″, and the pictures on Facebook from sophomore year show that you were dangerously close to being taller than Ric Tennenbaum when you two went to 2011 Semi Formal together. I measure in at 6’2.5″, but I like to round up to 6’3″, so you can let loose in the ridiculous shoes department. If you do, I’ll even let you complain about how much your feet hurt the whole night without rolling my eyes.
4. If I attempt to grow a lucky beard while the lacrosse team is in playoffs, rest assured. Our latest possible game if we go all the way to the CIF championship game would on May 11, a whole week before Prom on the 18th, and I promise I’ll get rid of any facial hair once the season’s over.
5. I was the most dedicated fan of the girls’ tennis team and have been the most dedicated Chamber Singers supporter all year. Ok, so I only went to two tennis matches this year and both of the times I went to take pictures for the Sports section instead of supporting you, but I’ve been to three of your choral performances this year and only once did I go on a photography assignment. The other two times I went because I genuinely wanted to support you, the other singers and mingle with parents.
6. Speaking of parents, if you go with me, Mr. and Mrs. Park would be amped. In fact, your parents may be more excited about the two of us going together than you are. And that’s ok! I’ve always been better with adults than kids my own age. But after all the time I’ve spent hanging with them this year while supporting you at your various extracurriculars, I feel like my bond with your parents is much stronger than the bond I have with all the other Harvard-Westlake parents. I don’t know your sister Katy ’11 as well, but she seems really nice from the one time I met her at your place and I feel like we’d get along great.
7. If you don’t say yes, I can’t think of anyone else in our grade to ask and I’ll probably end up taking a random sophomore. I’ve never asked him about the subject, but my guess is that my younger brother Roman ’15 gets kind of uncomfortable whenever I hit on his friends. Don’t make me be that guy that takes a random sophomore to his Senior Prom.
8. If you go with me, I’ll be a valuable asset to have by your side at The After Party. So maybe I’m not the fun-loving party animal in our limo, but someone has to drive everyone to Fat Sal’s at 2:30 to pick up sandwiches, right?
9. When I asked our mutual friends what they thought of my idea, several of them said they had talked to you and told me you would say yes if I asked. I would be a little confused and disappointed if I was under the wrong impression this whole time.
10. Last, but certainly not least, I would really love to go with you. You’ve become one of my closest friends this year and I always look forward to seeing you whenever we’re going to the same party over a weekend or have a common free at school. I didn’t get the chance to spend as much time with you at Whiteout as I was hoping because I had to set up for the event with Prefect Council, so I’d love nothing more than another event where I could spend the whole night hanging with you.
So Kristina, will you go to Prom with me?