The Indu-sputed truth: Part 8

Former Chronicle News Associate gives her take on current pop culture and politics in a recurring satire column. In this issue, she shares the  supplementary college essay she sumbitted to Harvard College.   Indu Pandey, designated Indian applicant #35387, said she grew tired of highlighting the words in her essays every four seconds to check […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 7

Comey launches campaign for Trump Administration Anonymous   Former FBI Director James Comey began his book tour earlier this week to promote his new organization, Trump Administration Anonymous (TAA). TAA seeks to create a support network for former members of the Trump administration. Comey’s new book focuses on his fall from grace and his rehabilitation […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 6

Administration announces 2nd and 4th Wednesday Assemblies   After the resounding success of 1st and 3rd Wednesday Assembly, the administration announced its new 2nd and 4th Wednesday Assembly. “It’s so important to us that we’re together as a diverse and inclusive community every week,” the administration said in an email. “The community bonds we nurture […]

J’aime, La Croix

J’aime, La Croix

They say French is the language of love. Something about Casablanca, the Eiffel Tower and baguettes just ooze romance. I never understood the connection that so many wax poetic about. That was, of course, until I tried La Croix. Ah, La Croix. 21 flavors of joy that speak to the heart. Pamplemousse, Mango, Cerise Limón. […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 5

The Chronicle made headlines after releasing an article titled, “Student eats lunch.” “Well, I guess since we’re the only paper, we made our own headlines,” Chronicle Editor-in-chief Danielle Spitz said, “But, that doesn’t matter! We’re like rocking the world of journalism.” The paper found itself with few articles to fill its news section after an […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 4

Trump, Bannon engage in gentleman’s duel President Trump challenged former Chief Strategist Stephen Bannon to a gentleman’s duel in the White House Rose Garden on Tuesday. “Steve hurt my feelings!” Trump tweeted. “There is no truth to his claims. I have the smartest and loyalest administration in history!” Wayne LaPierre of the NRA personally supplied […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 3

Jared Kushner fails to disclose his cards to Xi Jinping in game of Go Fish — Jared Kushner fails to disclose his cards in a tense game of Go Fish with Chinese President Xi Jinping, almost causing a US-China War. Jinping was reportedly considering rolling in the tanks after he discovered the betrayal. “What kind […]

The Indu-sputed truth: Part 2

Russia hacks The Chronicle, releases 50-minute conservative rant — Russia hacked The Chronicle and released a 50-minute conservative rant as part of its scheme to topple the school’s leadership Sept. 11. Russia bypassed the paper’s highly secure vetting process after manipulating hundreds of Facebook ads. Who knew communist meme pages could be so dangerous? “I […]

The Indu-sputed truth

Pseudo-intellectual whines until Fake News Media gives her socially acceptable way to bully people. — Failing liberal media gives Indu Pandey a satire column to attract viewers. Sad! Panda will pretend to know what she’s talking about as she embraces bougie intellectualism to hypocritically criticize others. “That’s what the world needs, you know? More leftists […]