The Science Department’s Big Bangers exploded to victory after burning computer services’ Los Frijoles Con Carne at the first faculty dodgeball tournament April 21. Science Department Chair Larry Axelrod and Transportation Coordinator Miguel Avecedo, who played for the Jock Straps, tore their anterior cruciate ligaments and had to leave in the middle of the tournament.
The Math Department’s Awesome-totes and the Big Bangers faced off in the first game to cheers from students and faculty alike.

After an Awesome-tote victory, the Athletic Department Jock Straps and the administration’s team, Dodge This, played game two.

The Jock Straps quickly took control of the game, leaving only Assistant to the Head of Upper School Michelle Bracken to defend her team’s honor. Despite an audience chant of Bracken’s name, the Jock Straps literally swept Bracken off her feet to their victory.

Los Frijoles had a close win in their game against the deans’ Lean Mean Dean Machine, followed by history’s Reign of Terror’s shutdown of the English Department’s Slaughterhouse Five.

Performances heated up in round two.  Head of Upper School Harry Salamandra clashed with math teacher Kent Nealis over the possession of a ball as the Awesome-totes and Dodge This began their game.

Water polo coach Larry Felix and science teacher Dietrich Schuhl spontaneously engaged in a dance-off in the middle of the Jock Straps and Big Bangers game. Schuhl even went so far as to willingly give up two balls to the opposite team and dance tauntingly with a ball under his shirt.

The Reign of Terror made a comeback after a losing start against the Dean Machine and forced the game into overtime. Although Upper School Dean Canh Oxelson remained on the dean team, the Reign was saved by the bell and won the game as time ran out.

During the Dodge This vs. Big Bangers game, science teacher Jesse Reiner upped his performance as Axelrod left the game with a torn ACL.

Reiner’s playing incited several shouts during the tournament, including junior Evan Rappel’s scientifically-worded encouragement of “Reiner, more torque! More torque!” and a chant of “MVP!” in the later half of the tournament.

By the championship match of the tournament, even favored winners like the Jock Straps had dropped out, leaving the Bangers against the Frijoles. After a series of ins and outs by team members, Schuhl’s lucky catch kicked Aaron Ruben out of the game and propelled the Big Bangers to victory.

The winning team gathered around Barnum to receive its reward before joining colleagues at the pizza-laden table.

History teacher David Waterhouse did not play in the tournament but dropped by to watch the game.

“I only play real sports,” he said.

“Those are the words of a bitter old man,” science teacher and barefooted Big Banger David Hinden joked, before lauding Waterhouse’s athletic background. Waterhouse did not serve the Reign of Terror due to a torn labrum in his shoulder.

Upper School Dean Beth Slattery explained the Dean Machines’ strategy.

“It’s a mixed strategy. The deans decided that the girls should dodge and catch, but no throwing,” she said.

“Reiner is a rock star,” she added.