The Tax of Relationships

February 17, 2022

Despite how much she enjoys spending time with Rath, Leclerc said she noticed herself neglecting her other social obligations.

“I want to be spending time with him but then, I also have to spend time with friends,” Leclerc said. “[We all] talked about it and basically said we should just make more of an effort and try to be with the whole group.”

Teddy Ingold ’24 said he has witnessed the tax of romantic relationships firsthand when his peers have become more distant upon finding a significant other. Ingold said because of this observation, he has refrained from a relationship.

“In some cases, it makes it a little harder to stay as good friends with them,” Ingold said. “It depends on the kid, but some people just spend [too much] time with their person. I think it’s something to avoid in high school.”

Megan Outcalt ’22 said putting in the time and dedication needed to maintain a high school relationship can be irresponsible.

“These relationships are often codependent,” Outcalt said. “Once it ends, they don’t have anything outside of it because they’ve just focused so hard on one person instead of everyone else in their lives.”

Talia Tepper ’22 said she tries to address these concerns in her long-term relationship with Kai Faucher ’23. Tepper said she finds it difficult to tend to social responsibilities that are separate from her time with her boyfriend.

“It’s very difficult actually, a lot more difficult than I expected,” Tepper said. “He’s really important to me. He makes me feel happy and good about myself and all that, but then I have friends that I have to see.”

Tepper said an additional challenge is her couple’s age gap, as she is a senior and Faucher is a junior, and their daily experiences do not always align.

“[The age gap] has effects,” Tepper said. “He’s taking classes I already took, I just got into college, then I’m going to go to college. So that’s obviously difficult.”

Faucher said being in the grade below Tepper can be difficult to navigate.

“There was definitely a rift at first,” Faucher said. “There’s stuff that she’s experienced that I flat out haven’t. If anything has been our biggest [challenge], it’s just been to kind of traverse and get around how sometimes our differences are great.”

Tepper said while she and Faucher have acknowledged this issue, it has become less prevalent with time.

“​​He’s very emotionally mature for the age difference,” Tepper said. “Honestly, we forget about it all the time.”

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