As Marlo Beckman ’25 saw her older sister return from a driving lesson, laughing with joy, she felt her heart beat faster, accelerating with the excitement of getting her own license one day one day getting her own license. She took a deep breath and decided that she would get behind the wheel as soon as she was old enough to learn. Beckman said after seeing how much fun her sister was having, she wanted to feel the joy and experience the same feeling that her sister did.
“I inherited my brother’s old car and I wanted to also inherit the skills of driving with my dad,” Beckman said. “I wanted to experience that, learning how to drive and have those memories.”
Driving is considered a teenage rite of passage, but for some students, the road to driving has many twists and turns, according to a 2013 study by the University of Michigan. Some students get their license but do not have access or permission to a car. These students can fall victim to the social pressures of driving and even owning a car, especially at the Upper School, where a majority of students can and do own cars as soon as they are able.
Math teacher Michael Mori, who has two kids that have been through the driving process, said that students may feel peer pressure to start driving once their friends do.
“Students feel social pressure to drive because if somebody does, then they all want to do the same thing,” Mori said.
Additionally, Mori said that non-drivers pressure their friends to drive for the free rides.
“Friends who can’t drive want their friends to drive so they can take them places,” Mori said. “So there might be some pressure in terms of the carpooling and wanting rides.”
Nearly a quarter of sixteen-year-olds have their driver’s license and 60% of eighteen-year-olds have their license, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation. Additionally, the mean cost for private driving instruction is $350, with some Los Angeles driving schools costing twice as much. 25% of adolescents with family incomes below $20,000 get their license before 18, compared to 79% with family incomes of at least $100,000, according to Teen Driving by the Numbers.
About 20% of students at the school receive financial aid, according to the school’s website. Sophia Wong ’27 said some students who receive financial aid might be stigmatized, due to the status quo of car ownership at the school.
“It’s expected around HW for students to have their own cars, which really is testament to the amount of privilege we are surrounded by,” Wong said. “This creates a set of expectations around owning a car and creates an environment where people who don’t own their own cars can be looked down on or judged”
Socioeconomic pressure, however, is not the only reason students feel the need to drive. Some students need transportation to activities that do not provide bus transportation, according to Emma Tseng ’26. Tseng said her main reason she got a license and car is out of necessity.
“It was important for me to be able to drive on my own because my parents both work,” Tseng said. “Now I can ease the burden off them by driving myself to see friends or to go to softball practice.”
While drivers licenses can be obtained at age 16 in California and 40% of Americans aged 16 to 19 drive, some parents do not allow their teens to drive until they are 18 or later due to safety concerns.
Mae Gad ’27 said his parents feel apprehensive about him driving before age 18.
“We live in LA where the driving situation is much more dangerous than most other places,” Gad said.
Despite having to wait, Gad said social pressure to drive is not an issue.
“I don’t feel social pressure to start driving, but I definitely feel the pressure to start because to get anywhere in LA and not being able to drive limits my autonomy”
Marlo Beckman ’25 said that feelings of missing out are usually not related to car ownership.
“There are definitely moments where [someone] might have fear of missing out, but I don’t think that’s directly tied to not owning a car,” Beckman said. “I know in my situation, we celebrate Shabbat at my house, so I’m not allowed to go out on Friday nights. I’m not allowed to stay at school for the football or basketball games. I sometimes feel like I’m missing out. But that has nothing to do with me not having a car.”
At the school, what students drive seems to matter just as much as their ability to drive, according to Plant Manager Ed Wormald. Wormald said he is worried about students competing against each other to own the nicest cars.
Wormald said there should be “acknowledgement or gratitude” for having a car of any kind.
“My concern is the types of cars they get,” Wormald said. “Hopefully that there’s not a competition among the students to have a nicer, more fancy car than someone else.”
For parents, there are both concerns and benefits when a child gets driving privileges. No longer having to drive kids to and from school, activities and friends’ houses is a rite of passage for parents as much as driving is for teens. However, along with the release from parental driving responsibility comes concern for their child’s safety on the road, according to Lois Park (Lauren ‘25), who said she was not eager for her daughter to begin driving.
“I was in no hurry to help Lauren get her driver license at age 16, so I ignored her request for help in obtaining a learner’s permit,” Lois Park said. “She still figured it out, passed the knowledge test and practiced with a driving instructor. She would arrange the instructor to pick her up from school and drive home together to get accustomed to the route to and from school. She was scheduled to take the test at the Winnetka DMV, which is rumored to be a better DMV to take the driving test. She failed the test twice. I’ve never been so happy to see her fail at something. The extra few months of practice helped hone her skills and she finally passed on the third try.”
Eventually, Lois Park said she accepted driving as an inevitable milestone for her daughter.
“Although I was nervous about her driving once she was 16, I accepted that this was part of growing up,” Lois Park said. “Sure, she’s scratched a side mirror and hit a pole in a parking lot, but overall, she is an excellent driver.”
