It was early in the morning in the 90s when Academic Support Specialist Gabriela Herrera walked down the hallway of her San Fernando Valley home and peeked into her mother’s room to find it empty. Only her younger sibling was present in the home. Her working, single mother left home early in the morning before any of her children woke up. While it was still dark outside, she entered the factory where she worked as a seamstress, only to return home late into the evening. Herrera said her mother prioritized basic necessities; however, now as a single mother herself, she tries to also focus on supporting her children emotionally.
“My mom was really focused on survival and basic needs,” Herrera said. “She was a really good provider and made sure we had the clothes we needed, and if we wanted to do extracurriculars, she made sure things were paid for, but, I didn’t really feel like there were a whole lot of things I could go to her for as far as emotional support or to even tell her things without maybe getting yelled at or getting in trouble. I think with my kids as a single mom myself, we have more conversations, and I want to be that emotional support for them along with providing them with everything they need.”
March 21 is National Single Parent day, a holiday that celebrates households like Herrera’s and aims to make them feel more accepted into society. The day is meant to recognize the hard work and courage of these parents to maintain a strong family unit.
Nina Sawyer ’27, an only child with a single mom, said she feels her relationship with her mother is much closer than most.
“[My mom] is someone I go to for advice because I trust her,” Sawyer said. “She’s a woman with a lot of experience, so she’s a role model I look up to.”
Children are more likely to rely on mothers for emotional support and to have a strong bond with them than fathers, according to the Pew Research Center. Although the natural closeness between mothers and their children is a positive aspect of single motherhood, it also comes with challenges. Over the past 50 years, there has been a rise in the number of single parent households the vast majority of which are led by single mothers. Nearly 23% of children under 18 are being raised by only one parent, according to the Pew Research Center.
Balancing the roles of both provider and caregiver, single mothers face unique financial challenges. In contrast with dual-income families, single parent households are placed at a financial disadvantage in terms of total earnings, according to the Center for American Progress.
Upper School Counselor Brittany Bronson said that when she was seven years old, her mother became a single mom and the sole provider for their family. Bronson said the biggest challenge for her mother was the financial aspect of raising two children on her own.
“When [my parents] divorced, [my mom] just had her income,” Bronson said. “My dad was the breadwinner, and [my mom] was a stay-at-home mom up until my brother was born. I just remember she always struggled financially [after the divorce]. That would always be the hardest thing, paying the bills or keeping the gas on.”
Miles Dodson ’26 said his mother makes sure to stay involved in his life, despite the many responsibilities she carries as a single parent.
“I have friends that live really far away, but she is always there to drive me and pick me up,” said Dodson. “She never misses one of my basketball games and is always there for me. I just admire the work she puts in.”
In 2023, there were about 7.3 million single mothers, 1.6 million single fathers and about 48.7 million married parents in the United States, according to the Center for American Progress. Sawyer said she first noticed her family dynamic was different from her peers’ families when she got older and recognized the privilege of two-parent households.
“Once I got older, around the time when I started to meet people at Harvard-Westlake, I started to go to sleepovers and noticed my household dynamic was different from other families,” Sawyer said. “With two-parent households, there’s always someone else to rely on, but since it is just me and my mom, there’s a lot of sacrifices I have to make that my friends don’t. ”
Herrera said a challenge of having a single parent is that the parent is not always able to be present at important events. Despite her mother’s demanding job, Herrera said she prioritized her and her sibling’s well-being, ensuring that a family member was present at school events when she could not attend.
“My mom always made sure someone was there,” Herrera said. “It would be an uncle, aunt or grandpa, but someone would always show up. She did her best at getting time off, but she worked, and so it’s a lot harder.”
Parentification is when a child is placed in an adult role by taking on responsibilities typically meant for a parent, according to Psychology Today. Herrera said as the oldest child of two to a single mom she experienced a greater sense of independence and responsibility.
“Once we got a little older, I was essentially a latch key kid,” Herrera said. “I had keys to my house. I took myself to school. I brought myself back. I made myself food. It was a lot of independence. I am the oldest of two and I think when you’re being raised by a single parent there’s a lot of extra responsibility. So I did the laundry, I washed the dishes and I did a lot of that extra work.”
Bronson said she experienced an increased responsibility; however, her mother also emphasized maintaining a strong family bond by spending quality time together.
“I think my mom relied on me a lot,” Bronson said. “I was the oldest, and so I was parentified, in a way, but that kind of made us closer because of the reliance. We grew up with family dinners every night. Even though we didn’t have a lot of money, the things we would do together were very family oriented.”
Lilly Stobo ’26 said when her single mother recently had health struggles, she had to assume responsibilities which are usually reserved for adults.
“I have to figure out a lot more stuff because I just don’t have another parent to organize things,” Stobo said. “Recently [my mom] had a lot of really scary health problems. I was making sure that she was okay and was booking doctor’s appointments for her.”
Sawyer said she feels people often overlook the fact that their idea of a typical family differs from the reality she and other children of single parents experience.
“People are pretty understanding of my family dynamic, but I also think it’s very normal for people to just think everybody goes home and has two parents,” Sawyer said. “It’s just not their reality, but it’s mine. Sometimes I can forget that I go home and it’s just me and my mom, whereas, [other] people have two parents and a bunch of siblings.”
