Wolverine Etiquette Guide

Claire Conner

Illustration by Jade Harris

Digital

*    Zoom vs. Facetime— Facetime for everything, only Zoom for school. Everyone’s sick of it.

*    In text, only use lowercase “haha” and “lol” when adding them to your own sentence. Using them as reactions indicates that you don’t think the joke you’re responding to is actually funny.

*    Read receipts are yucky.

*    Only turn on read receipts in an emergency.

Amigos

*    Driver gets the aux, but if you’re close friends, you can ask to add songs to the queue. If you consistently carpool with someone and usually drive, you should offer to let them put on one of their playlists.

*    If you make eye contact with an acquaintance (someone you’ve talked to at school or a party but aren’t friends with) in public, you should smile and nod or say hi. Otherwise, you don’t have to acknowledge them but can if you’d like to.

*    If you live far away from someone else in the city, you mostly have to suggest a neutral meeting place with an equal commute. Some caveats: a person has to pay for their own gas, a person can’t drive, etc.

School

*    Don’t publicly complain about a grade that’s above a B+.

*    It’s OK to ask for someone’s study guide if you didn’t make one, but if you did make one and have a friend who keeps using you for notes, it’s also OK to lie and say that you don’t have one.

*    Never take up more than 10 minutes of a friend’s time to get help on schoolwork that isn’t a group assignment, unless they offer to help you — and then insist on continuing to work with you after that time period, even after you’ve acknowledged the time they’ve spent. Between faculty, peer tutors, the learning center, and other classmates, you have plenty of resources.

Money

*    Definitely tip any waiters and deliver drivers 20% as a minimum.

*    Venmo immediately.

*    Splitting the bill is standard, but asking for separate checks is always okay, especially if someone orders more than everyone else.