A proper “girl dinner” can’t be described with silly things like words – it is a state of mind. You may be asking:”Hannah, you’re not the Washington Post. How could you tell us what girl dinner is?” To that I say, I am a girl, and I eat dinner—sometimes twice. What more do you people want from me? So in the treasured American traditions of generosity, peace and kindness, I will share with you my top recommendations for an authentic, Chronicle approved girl dinner.
1. Chips.
2. The taste of the joyful pursuit of educational excellence. It keeps you full more than any food ever could.
3. The Joans on Third Chinese Chicken Salad.
4. Caffeine.
5. History reading. You can quench your thirst…for knowledge.
6. The Hailey Bieber Strawberry Glaze smoothie from Erewhon. Now I know it doesn’t make you look like Hailey Bieber, but it makes your smoothie look like Hailey Bieber’s smoothie?
7. White rice. It’ll bring you a comforting taste of the school cafeteria.
8. Online shopping. Your eyes can feast upon Reformation dresses as you scan for an outfit that someone hasn’t worn to Senior Ring Ceremony yet.
9. Goop’s Brentwood Chinese Chicken Salad. Gwyneth Paltrow saves lives. (Extremely different than the Joans on Third Chinese Chicken salad—both are equally necessary).
10. A sip of water from the Los Angeles (LA) River. It’ll keep you full (of bacteria) for life.
11. Anything from Sharky’s on Ventura. Maybe you’ll run into Junior Prefect Ellie Borris ’25!
12. The Erewhon Frankies Bikinis Malibu Mango smoothie . It’s like the Hailey Bieber one except it’s yellow.
13. “Save Weddington” posters on the lawns of Studio City residents. It’ll probably be softer than the chicken in the cafeteria. Plus, you get to show your support for our beloved school! Maybe you’ll even get to testify at a Studio City Neighborhood Council meeting in front of Yearbook Advisor Jen Bladen.
14. Those frosted sugar cookies from Ralphs. I will probably be eating those for dinner as Print Managing and Satire Editors Jade Harris ’24 and Davis Marks ’24 rip apart this article Friday night.*
*we actually ripped this article apart Saturday morning. -Jade and Davis
Peter Jason • Sep 23, 2023 at 9:48 pm
Once again the Hannah Humor hits a new benchmark for hilarity! The girl is so inventive and original it’s hard not to be sucked into her world. That being said how do we males identify? I guess the way we always do by throwing up our hands and waiting for someone to explain it all to us! Thanks anyway H. S. Always enjoy reading you! PJ