Red Cross Club: Learn how to save lives. All you gotta do is hawk tuah on that CPR dummy!
Environmental Club: A fast-tracked way to becoming an enemy of Prefect Council through balloon popping. If you really want change, though, you’re better off sending an all school email about East Coast Prep Day.
Economics and Fiscal Policy Club: Aspiring investment bankers only. Exceptions may be made for aspiring consultants on case-by-case basis.
Songwriting Club: HA! Good luck living up to Whitney Enenstein ’24’s musical legacy.
Global Affairs Society: Not many people know this, but Presentations Managing Editor Nathan Wang ’25 and Executive Editor Alex Dinh ’25 are secretly in a relationship. When you attend a Global Affairs event, you’re really just third wheeling one of their dates.
Investment Club: Rejects of the Economics and Fiscal Policy club.
Cinephiles: No way. You have a LetterBoxd account? Please go and tell EVERYONE.
Slam!: Solving global warming one Haiku at a time.
Ethics Bowl: Retired debaters who developed trauma by being yelled at in 3x speed.
Board Game Club: Come for the games, stay for the emails.
Robotics: Varsity Athletes.
HWOP: Laughter is the best medicine. That’s why all hospital
patients need is amateur high school improv.
Comedy Club: Perpetually in The Elbow’s shadow.
The Elbow: By the time you’re reading this in print, the Elbow has probably published four issues.
Civic Leaders of America: Didn’t win the Model UN leadership election? Why do I have an opportunity for you.
Model UN: I have a pretty neutral opinion on this club. I guess you could call me Switzerland.
Surf Club: Do you want to join this club? Or do you just want to impress Executive Editor Everett Lakey ’25?
Westflix: You’re in this club for one of two reasons: getting admitted into NYU Tisch or getting admitted into the Westflix afterparty. Both are equally selective.
KHWS: Don’t listen to what everyone else says — Mitski is soooooo underground.
Peer Support: Definitely not a cult. Wink.
Venture: ED1 to Wharton. ED2 to Babson.
Speech Team: Was debate too hard or something?
Art and Business: I can’t believe your parents are making you have a backup plan if the career as a ceramicist doesn’t work out.
The Greens: By far the best club on campus.
