Un-Pak your ideas

Jensen Pak

You’d think that with a name like Pak, it would be easy to think of a pun, and yet I still haven’t figured out what my Facebook name should be.

Every year, seniors embrace the tradition of changing their names on Facebook. Originally intended to hide profiles from colleges or companies, these new names range from various inside jokes and pop culture references to rhymes or wordplay.

So far the senior class has produced some entertaining names on Facebook. Some names that I particularly appreciate this year include Alex See Ya Later (Alexia Le ’14), Juanton Soup (Juan Acevedo ’14) and of course Large (Sam Sachs ’14). On the other hand, I still scratch my head when Mook Hurt (Oliver Goodman-Waters ’14) and KickedAnd TamperedWith (Alex Thal ’14) appear on my newsfeed.

I’ve never changed my name before, but I’ve thought about doing it for a couple of years. Seeing the previous senior classes produce creative new names excited me, and I resolved that, with such an easy last name, I would come up with a great alias. I couldn’t wait until I was a senior, except now it’s actually happened and I don’t have a name.

Right off the bat, I strayed away from being that Asian kid who decides to write his name in Chinese or Korean. No offense, but that’s hardly creative, and it just makes it hard to find on Facebook.

I couldn’t find a name that took advantage of my monosyllabically rhymable last name while also appealing to a wide audience.

For a while in my head, I would even go through the alphabet thinking of words rhyming with Pak — back, hack, lack, etc. However, none produced any results.

A few names that have shown promise include Pak Man, Tupak and even Paks Romana, a reference to ancient Rome that I particularly enjoy.

I’ve tried to solicit ideas from all of my friends, but none of their ideas seemed very plausible. As I fielded ideas, a couple people would agree, but one or two would shut it down. I soon realized that there is no way to come up with the perfect name. There are great aspects to every name, but it is a habit to find what people wouldn’t like about it.

Of course, as a first quarter high school senior in struggling to finish college applications, Facebook should probably be the least of my worries.

I feel like deciding on a name would provide some sort of comfort and distraction from my daily stress, except I can’t tell if this is actually contributing to it.

Perhaps the struggle to find a name provides more distraction then settling on the name itself.

I would rather not use the saying that satisfaction comes from the journey rather than the destination, but I’ve already said it.

However, I can’t help thinking that maybe part of the reason I haven’t decided on a name is that I’ve enjoyed the act of searching for one. I’ve probably overthought the whole situation, and the name I finally choose will merit more disapproval than I would like, but at least I am confident that it will accurately represent my creativity and pride in being a senior.

If you think you have a good idea, let me know. I’m still looking.