Unpublished Chronicle Headlines

Georgia Goldberg, Assistant A&E Editor

New student dating app matches students based on GPA

HW Venture to collect and resell water from the LA River back to Studio City Residents

Op-Ed: Your wife makes your bed for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

Police report 81 Harvard-Westlake students missing after Coachella

A horde of squirrels demolishes campus, all students forced to transfer out: student morale never higher

Community Council mandates that students answer local troll’s three riddles to get into the Madison Beer panel

Bird fever! Reports show Twitter spreading faster than COVID-19 on campus

Cafeteria food: hot or not?

Cafeteria creates a whole new menu, students continue to only eat white rice

Thousands of dumplings found underground, dumpling smell finally explained

Prefect Council announces new Honor Board policy: cheating is acceptable as long as the student is stressed for their test

Administration implements Hunger Games to determine Cum Laude list

Local sicko caught explaining NFTs to frightened students on the quad

Lunchtime ultimate frisbee game watched by three students, an all time high

Op-Ed: Support small businesses in the community, like local family-owned market Erewhon

Students begin spitting on Chronicle staff members, administration concerned about spread of COVID-19

Prom court election rigged by Prefect Council, no Honor Board case to follow

Administration sets fire to every Studio City residence protesting River Park

Op-Ed: Hamenstachen is so spring! This summer, cool down with an ice-cold potsicle