Just in case you weren’t sure about your course selections…

English:

English IV: Criminal Minds: No, you don’t get to watch the show in class.

Honors English IV: Same House, Different Worlds: You have an obsessive attachment to Mr. Michaelson.

Honors English IV: Dystopias and Utopias: You thought it would be easier than the other senior English classes. It’s not.

Honors English Seminar: You post annotated book pages on your Instagram story and have an active Goodreads account.

History:

Honors U.S. History: If your teacher uses ChatGPT to grade your AI-generated essay, then is it really an Honor Board violation?

AP U.S. Government & Politics: Listen to the most annoying person in the class talk about the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law for 75 minutes.

Honors Comparative Government: You think you are incredibly unique for not choosing Honors U.S. Government. *Corequisite: attend at least two Model UN conferences.

World Languages:

Spanish IV: You show up to class 35 minutes late everyday and blame it on Coldwater Canyon traffic. Señora Cherry has yet to give you a tardy.

AP Spanish Language and Culture: The only Spanish you know are the lyrics to ”Tití me Preguntó” by Bad Bunny, but somehow you still have an A.

Honors French Language and Culture: If you’re a boy, you thought taking French would give you the best ratio. It is the language of love, right?

Math:

Honors Precalculus: You’ll hate this class, but you’ll hate yourself more. You cried when you found out Ms. Campbell was retiring.

Advanced Precalculus: You complain way too much considering this isn’t an honors class.

AP Calculus AB: For seniors: You were told this class was going to be easy. It really wasn’t.

AP Calculus BC: Limit as the student approaches the fourth quarter = 70% test  average with curve.

Science:

Honors Chemistry: Outdid the AP Statistics cheating scandal of 2022.

Honors Geology: Jocks for rocks. Or is it rocks for jocks?

Honors Molecular and Cellular Biology: You told your dean you would definitely take physics next year.

APES: Show Ms. Eisenkolb your plastic water bottle, I dare you.

Principles of Engineering: Social experiment dedicated to finding out what happens when you put everyone who doesn’t participate in group projects into a class entirely dependent on group projects.

Electives:

SLIDE Directed Study: Your friends are terrified to make jokes around you for fear of being sent to the Community Concern Reporter.

Graphic Design through the Medium of Merch: Selling $35 graphic T-Shirts on 90% polyester while shamelessly self-promoting on your main Instagram account.

Orchestra: You’ve been playing the violin since you were 7 and hated it ever since, but you can’t quit now because you’re in too deep.