Saying “please” and “thank you,” holding doors open for those behind you, greeting people upon entering a room—these etiquette staples seem to be fading from everyday life, especially among teenagers. Some teens may claim that manners are old-fashioned or excessive, and rules of etiquette can sometimes seem outdated in modern contexts, according to the Etiquette School of America. However, good manners show respect and dignity, virtues that everyone should adhere to.
In classroom settings, some students at the school make sly comments and mock or even talk back to their teachers. When tests are announced, classes usually erupt with groans, and during lectures, students slouch in their seats, even resting their heads face-down on desks. These behaviors showcase students’ disengagement with the learning and signal to the teacher that they are bored. It is, of course, inevitable to be bored or tired during class some of the time. However, these feelings should never be shown overtly, as they look rude to a teacher.
It can be easy to forget that teachers dedicate just as much time to school as students, yet teachers do not broadcast their boredom with impolite body language. They are able to remain composed and conceal feelings of discontent, setting an example students should follow. Furthermore, for a teacher who has dedicated years to their craft, working long hours and leaving late to finish grading tests, it is rude for students to arrive late, laze about during class, and leave without saying “thank you” or “goodbye.” .
In previous generations, etiquette was more strictly enforced. 73% of people polled said that people’s manners have deteriorated in the last few decades, according to ABC News. Today, good manners seem to have taken a backseat in the public’s priorities. A mere 7% of Americans preface requests with “please,” according to Yahoo. Young teenagers are on social media at record numbers, which is causing us to forget how to be respectful. On apps such as TikTok, teens get a glimpse into the personal lives of strangers and comment unfiltered thoughts, often saying things that would traditionally be considered rude or judgmental in a face-to-face setting. Over time, it seems adolescents have lost a sense of what is and is not socially acceptable. Worst of all, teens are beginning to publicly exhibit these uncouth behaviors they once hid behind a screen.
The solution to this problem starts at school. Although students won’t like to hear it, teachers must become more strict about manners. Guidelines need to be established and enforced about what behaviors are and are not acceptable in a classroom setting. This means students should be called out by their teachers — politely, of course — when they behave in a socially unacceptable manner, despite how uncomfortable that may be.
Adolescents mirror each other’s behaviors. Humans are herd animals, and align behaviors based on the actions of others, according to Psychology Today. If teens begin exhibiting good manners and respectful habits, it is a scientific fact that their peers will pick up on this and begin exhibiting those same behaviors themselves. A trend starts with a solitary trendsetter; in order to bring etiquette back into the social zeitgeist, only one individual needs to act with good manners.
If teens spend less time online and more time in the real world, they will be able to better understand the real-life repercussions of their statements and actions. Off-line living better enables adolescents to build a moral compass and understand which actions are socially acceptable, and which are potentially disrespectful. Teens will begin to realize that some behaviors that are acceptable online are unacceptable in-person.
Disrespect can be forged in single interactions, but so can kindness and friendship. If individual students begin acting with grace, their peers will follow suit, resulting in a culture of courtesy at the school. One student at a time, pupils will begin respecting their teachers, understanding what online behaviors are inappropriate in-person, and acting through the lens of etiquette. To start, students should keep track of our behaviors and analyze them, cutting out disrespect. Soon, kindness and courtesy will become habits.
