Zoe Vourgourakis ’26 pushes open her front door, expecting to discover her older brother strumming on his guitar or sitting on his piano stool. The buzzing of music had once filled the house and warmly embraced her upon walking through the front door each day. This time, though, when Vourgourakis steps through the door, she is confronted by an eerie silence. The air is heavier without the rhythm bouncing off the walls and filling the hallways.
Vourgourakis said the absence of her brother and the quietness of the house was abnormal to her.
“I was definitely not prepared for the silence that came with my brother leaving,” Vourgourakis said. “I came home one time from a hangout and the house was completely silent. Since Manos is a jazz musician, he was always filling the house with music from some sort of instrument, whether that’s piano or guitar bass. Hearing nothing was so foreign to me, and it felt completely off.”
Sydney Assil ’26, whose twin brothers left for college three years ago, said she often walks into her older brother’s room to reminisce on old memories with him.
“I get a tiny bit nostalgic and look at some of his things,” Assil said. “There’s this little trophy that I bought him when I went on a field trip in the fifth grade to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Every time I see it, I get a cute flashback. He has a way nicer desk than me and his room faces where the sun sets so it gets natural light. My room gets really dark, [whereas] his is really bright, so I like to hang out in his room more when I’m doing work.”
Strong bonds between siblings makes for a much harder transition when an older sibling leaves for college, according to The Guardian. Younger siblings often experience “empty nest syndrome,” a phenomenon where they experience a similar loss and identity crisis that parents encounter when their children leave the home, according to Researchgate.
For Vourgourakis, the preparation for the inevitable transition began long before her brother left for Temple University this summer. Although she tried to regulate her emotions, Vourgourakis said she was extremely emotional the day her brother left for college.
“The actual day he left was very weird, seeing him with all of his bags and knowing I wasn’t going to see him until Christmas,” Vourgourakis said. “I tried to keep it together until at least after he got out the door, just to not make him feel bad or anything. But that night, I was just reflecting a lot a looking at some old pictures, but I was still overcome with emotion. I’m genuinely so excited for him, but saying goodbye was pretty difficult.”
Summer Park ’27 said that she prioritized and cherished her time with her brother living in the house.
“Once I knew that I only had a few months left with my brother home, I tried to spend a lot of time with him,” said Park. “Unfortunately, it is inevitable, so I’m grateful for the time that I had with my older brother.”
Younger siblings often experience a strained or dramatically changed relationship with their parents after their older brother or sister leaves for college. Younger siblings may find themselves with new duties and far greater attention from parents than they have ever experienced before, according to Time.
Kyle Henderson ’27 said after his older sister left for college, he grew stressed because of the added responsibilities and extra monitoring from his mom.
“There were a lot more responsibilities with chores, doing stuff around the house, going to get groceries [and] that kind of stuff,” Henderson said. “This became all my responsibility, and I don’t like the added attention. When there’s a lot of attention, I get stressed out, and it [causes] me and my mom to get into fights.”
Some research indicates that extra parental involvement can boost academic performance. Studies have found that only children may academically outperform their peers because they receive more attention and pressure from their parents, according to a study from the University of Texas at Austin.
Hansen Liao ’27 said that the added attention from his parents is positive because he believes that it will help him get into college.
“When I was in middle school, my sister was still in the house, they were focused on helping her get into college,” Liao said. “Now, they’re focused on helping me get into college. So now they’re pretty much doing the same monitoring for me.”
Liao said that the weight of the pressure from his parents is hard to ignore because they are all worried about his future.
“Even the smallest things could start an argument, because we’re all stressed out and worried about the future,” Liao said. “It’s very easy to start arguments when everyone’s tense. That’s just [a] relationship that you start to have, especially when you are in high school and you’re the only child.”
Henderson said his mom is stricter with his academics and college application process than she was when his older sister was going through the process.
“When it comes to grades, my mom would never really talk to my sister about grades,” Henderson said. “But now that my sister’s already in college, she kind of knows what she wants to do and has already planned out everything for herself. My mom is never on her about school or anything like that, because she doesn’t need to be. But when it comes to me, it’s a lot about ACT studying, building up my college application and tying my extracurriculars back to my major.”
When parents focus all of their attention on one child, it can result in greater conflict in the family dynamic. This can minimize the child’s independence, according to Wootton.
Henderson said he felt that his sister’s absence has given him less autonomy and that his mom is a lot stricter with him than she was with his older sister.
“My sister was 17 and a half, almost 18, when she got her license, so my mom gave her all that freedom, even though, technically, she’s had the same amount of experience driving as me,” said Henderson. “I have my license, my parking spot on campus, but my mom won’t even let me drive yet. She’s saying, I need to get more practice, which is understandable, that you’re looking out for your kid. But then you have to trust them.”
Park said that her relationship with her mom has not changed significantly because her mom went through the same situation.
“My parents haven’t treated me differently at all,” Park said. “I think a large factor is that my mom had an older brother, so she has already experienced what I am currently going through.”
The extra attention from parents is sometimes welcomed. It could be beneficial to the younger siblings to help keep them focused and on track with their academics, according to Children’s Dayton.
Liao said that his parents are also a lot stricter with him, and he feels like he has lost some of his breathing room, but he understands their perspective.
“My parents have a lot more rules because they have become more strict,” Liao said. “Sometimes it feels like you barely have any space to yourself, because you have lost your alone time. Now, there is a spotlight on you, and I am just not used to that. There are definitely some days where they are pushing my buttons a little bit, and it can get a little bit annoying, but in the end, after your emotions die down, and you look back on it, you know that they’re only trying to do [what is] best for you.”
