Abbie Her ’27 watches as a senior boy steps onto the stairs that connect the Flag Court Cafe to the Quad and begins singing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” by Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio, the song Heath Ledger famously performs in “10 Things I Hate About You.” Across the stairs, the senior girl being asked to the school dance stands waiting as the moment builds. When the song ends, the boy grabs a poster from a friend and sprints toward her, and the two embrace in the center of the crowd. The Quad fills with cheer, laughter and applause as this public performance signals the start of prom season. Her said prom proposals, known as promposals, have become a familiar and loved tradition on campus.
“When I see promposals or homecoming proposals on the quad, my first thought is that it’s really cute,” Her said. “It’s fun to see people celebrating and getting excited about prom. Promposals are like any other high school tradition. People feel like they should do one because that’s just what you do when you ask someone to prom. It’s part of the culture of going to prom.”
Sally Straus ’28 said the atmosphere surrounding public proposals, such as homecoming proposals on the quad, can be lively and exciting for everyone.
“It’s super energetic when a proposal happens on the quad,” Straus said. “Everyone’s cheering and watching, and it becomes this big moment that everyone’s part of. Some people think it’s really cute, but others are judging it too. It’s just really exciting and entertaining to watch.”
Valentina Hernandez Ruiz ’27 said promposals help build anticipation for prom night, even for underclassmen.
“Promposals just add to the excitement that leads up to prom,” Hernandez Ruiz said. “It’s seen as a senior tradition, and people want to experience that even as sophomores and juniors. When you see them happening around school, it makes you start picturing your own senior year and thinking about how you want your prom to be.”
While promposals have existed for years, social media has dramatically expanded their visibility. Modern promposals are often filmed, posted and celebrated online, turning a private ask into something performed for a wider audience, according to therapists quoted by Parents.
Diya Schievink ’26 said promposals today often center around creating a memorable public display rather than a private moment .
“[Promposals] are about making a big moment,” Schievink said. “However, it still causes people to put more effort into the person they’re asking, so I think it’s sweet, personalized and fun for onlookers.”
Across the U.S., promposals have become increasingly common. 64% of American teenagers say promposals are now a normal part of prom culture, with videos depicting elaborate promposals regularly gaining millions of views on platforms like TikTok and Instagram, according to a 2023 YouGov survey.
Hernandez Ruiz said social media can make students feel pressure to create a promposal that stands out.
“There’s a higher expectation because of social media to have a good promposal,” Hernandez Ruiz said. “Especially with Instagram accounts that show the promposals, everyone sees what others are doing, and it can add pressure. You don’t want to be the lame one. If mine is lame, I’m going to be so sad about it.”
As students scroll through social media, they often see countless examples of how others are asking their dates to prom. With 95% of U.S. teenagers ages 13–17 having access to a smartphone, most students are constantly encountering promposal content online, which can influence their own expectations for the event, according to the Pew Research Center.
Isabella Chiang ’28 said social media can influence how students think about planning their own promposals.
“People get a lot of ideas from social media, and there are so many really good promposals online,” Chiang said. “When you see those, it raises the bar and makes people compare what they’re planning to what they’ve seen. Guys definitely feel pressure because it takes a long time to plan everything and make sure it’s right. People expect it to be really good, so if it feels rushed or like there wasn’t much effort put in, it kind of makes a difference. They should actually plan it and make it cute.”
Her said social media and growing expectations have made promposals feel less spontaneous and more planned.
“If you’re in a relationship, people usually expect you to get a promposal,” Her said. “Now it’s more communicated beforehand, like asking if the person would actually be okay with it being public before making the ask. Social media definitely creates expectations. Even if people aren’t trying to compete, there’s always some level of comparison because everyone sees the promposals posted online and starts to think about how theirs should look.”
Hernandez Ruiz said social media has also influenced other aspects of prom culture, including dresses.
“ There’s always a prom dress account on Instagram so that no two people end up wearing the same dress,” Hernandez Ruiz said. “People call dibs on dresses really early on. There’s also this pressure that juniors who attend should wear shorter dresses. It’s an unwritten rule that everyone follows.”
Straus said public promposals can create pressure for both people involved.
“If it’s in front of a crowd, there’s definitely more pressure,” Straus said. “You can’t really say no in that moment because it would be embarrassing, and you don’t want to humiliate the other person. Even if you don’t like the guy, you still feel bad because everyone’s watching.”
Callum MacLachlan ’26 said prom can create pressure for students who are still looking for a date.
“Prom is kind of a last hurrah of senior year,” MacLachlan said. “It means different things to different people, and it also depends on whether you’re in a relationship. Prom is definitely more difficult when you’re not in a relationship, because then you have to go through the whole process of finding a date.”
MacLachlan said seniors often feel more pressure to attend prom than younger students and that social media can influence how students think about promposals.
“As a junior, you’re not expected to go to prom,” MacLachlan said. “As a senior, you’re expected to find a date, so it definitely feels a little stressful. I do feel pressured to do a promposal. You see these ideas on reels that blow up, and you’re like, ‘Oh, I should do that.’ It’s hard not to compare yourself.”
Schievink said being promposed to last year felt especially meaningful because it was unexpected.
“When he promposed to me, I was very relieved,” Schievink said. “I had been complaining about a class, and then all of my friends went silent and looked behind me, so I thought the teacher of that class had heard me, but it was really just my promposal. I was pleasantly surprised.”
Schievink said the effort behind the proposal can make the moment more meaningful.
“My favorite part of my promposal was that my date made me a sign based off my favorite drink and got it for me,” Schievink said. “It meant a lot to me that he remembered the small things I enjoy. Don’t be nervous when promposing and use what you know about the person you’re asking to make them feel special.”
Her said promposals make prom more memorable by creating memories students can look back on.
“Promposals make prom more special because they add something outside of just the dance itself,” Her said. “It becomes part of the whole experience leading up to prom. It’s one of those moments that people will probably look back on and remember when they think about high school.”
