Hannah Shahidi, Assistant Satire Editor
• March 19, 2024
Spring is starting, and that means it is time to vote for the new Head Prefects. Unlike the presidential primary three weeks ago, this election is actually important. We took to heart the words of the...
Alright you asked for it, so here it is (for the second time): the Official Chronicle Curriculum guide. But I know a lot of you are sitting there saying, “Georgia, didn’t you do this very same article...
Take a look at the websites of Phillips Academy — Andover, Phillips Academy — Exeter or any other school that begins with “Phillips” and ends with the name of a town in the Northeast. You’ll...
Prince Harry will replace President Richard B. Commons effective immediately, according to an all-school email sent Jan. 23. The ginger, who made millions streaming his move out of his parents basement,...
Georgia Goldberg, Opinion Editor, Satire Editor
• December 18, 2022
Inspired by the brave New York Times strikers, a group of Chronicle staffers have taken to the streets of Studio City. We are fed up with the long hours, brutal labor and toxicity of this work environment.
Here...
When was the last time you saw a squirrel at school? Quite recently, I would presume. They are ubiquitous, gracefully scurrying about the campus and shaking their fluffy brown tails throughout the shrubbery.
Another...
For the person who will go bankrupt from their matcha addiction:
Save them from themself and buy them some tea bags. Or better yet, send them a link to the CDC’s “Water and Healthier Drinks” page...
Georgia Goldberg, Opinion Editor, Satire Editor
• October 4, 2022
Speech Team: Benched debaters.
Science Bowl: Guarantees admission to Santa Monica College.
Environmental Club: Teaching me to recycle everything, including jokes.
Venture: Boy bosses and Sophia Rascoff...
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31 years ago, Harvard and Westlake came together in holy matrimony to form Harvard-Westlake (because ladies first means nothing here apparently), and they’ve been together...
Georgia Goldberg, Opinion Editor, Satire Editor
• September 2, 2022
During the school year, the students of Harvard-Westlake — the school known for its widespread Prozac consumption, mediocre football team and parking lot often mistaken for an Audi dealership—ever...
Science
AP Chemistry: So hard that you get free merch... Just kidding, they stopped doing that. It's just hard now.
Honors Chemistry: You don’t actually like Chem, you just like Dr. Cardin.
Chemistry:...
